Put me in, Coach! I’m ready to play!

Okay. You all know I love making analogies that are full of holes. So here goes.

A little-known baseball player, a Left-handed hitter named Clarke, has recently been released from the Elephants. The Donkeys sign him and in his first at bat in the top of the third inning he drills a softball pitch to deep Right field. Could be a home run. The game is tied right now, and if this lands in the cheap seats it would give the Donkeys a lead. No one is quite sure, though, if it’s got the distance.

The Right fielder, Rice, was almost held out of the game. At the last minute she was penciled onto the lineup card, and now she drifts back to the warning track, her face a weird, unreadable scowl. Has she lost the ball in the lights? Does she maybe not have the ability to catch the blast? Or did she know, at the crack of the bat, that it’s way over her head?

She reaches the warning track, and everyone cranes their necks to see. Is the ball fair or foul? Will the ball be within her reach? If it is, will she time her leap correctly? Can she come down with it? Or is it all for naught? Will the shot land ten rows deep in fair territory?

If she can snag this one, if she can steal a homer from the opposing team, she will not only defuse the latest threat but end the inning. The meat of the Elephant lineup is due up in the bottom of the third. If the ball lands in the seats, or if she bobbles it and Clarke settles for a stand-up double, the Donkeys would be on the verge of a big inning. This isn’t the whole game, so early, but it’s pivotal.

We’ll see.

(This was inspired by a discussion in the comments section at Nonplussed)


  1. Wouldn’t a football analogy be better as she could pick the pass and score, over and over again. I hate to quibble, but…

  2. Sorry, Clark’s already stuck out. Condi’s on deck, and may hit an O’North! (as in Oliver North’s total blind siding the Dems back in the Contra days)

  3. C’mon guys! I’m cautiously optimistic that Rice is going to really set the record straight when she testifies, but let’s not go counting our eggs. If she does, she does. Regardless of how well she does, we all know that a lot of the media is going to downplay her performance, and that that will be what most Americans see. Oliver North has crossed my mind, as well. In fact, his WAR STORIES book just arrived in the mail, and it will be next on my reading list. But no matter how many holes and inconsistencies are in Clarke’s book and appearances, the majority of Americans seem to think that he’s made some good points. With the media on his side, it’s not going to be easy to overcome. I still think Bush is going to steamroll Kerry in November, though.

  4. Will Rice allow the commission to review the speech she was scheduled to deliver the day of the 9/11 attack? Former staff say her focus was on missile defense, not terrorism. Why was the administration not pro-active in establishing the 9/11 commission in the first place? Sounds like they’ve got something to hide…