Ooo…they really meant it

China: Navy spat not a misunderstanding

BEIJING – China’s last-minute cancellation of a U.S. Navy visit to Hong Kong was not the result of a misunderstanding, the Chinese Foreign Ministry said Thursday, adding that ties had been “disturbed and harmed” by Congress’ honoring of the Dalai Lama and U.S. arms sales to Taiwan.

Spokesman Liu Jianchao denounced an earlier report from Washington that said Foreign Minister Yang Jiechi told President Bush the incident was a misunderstanding.

Nice that we’re clear on that.

Liu said “erroneous” actions on the part of the U.S. had “disturbed and harmed” relations.

He pointed to Congress’ awarding its highest civilian honor to the Dalai Lama last month. Although the Tibetan spiritual leader is lauded in much of the world as a figure of moral authority, Beijing demonizes the monk and claims he seeks to destroy China’s sovereignty by pushing for independence for Tibet.

Also hurting relations were arms sales to Taiwan, an island which China regards as a renegade province, he said.

If Murdoc was President, we’d immediately issue a statement explaining that honoring the Dalai Lama and the arms sales to Taiwan were not “erroneous”, as earlier reported by some Chinese official, but very carefully thought-out and intentional actions of official policy on our part.


  1. Followed by a no-fee transfer of a few mothballed F-16C’s to Taiwan’s Air Force just to make certain the policy wasn’t misunderstood.

  2. We love the Chinese. That’s why we run $200 – $300 billion trade debt with them. We want a communist dictatorship to have as much leverage as possible on our nation and way of life. After all, they’re our friends, just like the Arabs in the Middle East. Why can’t you racist bastards figure that out?

  3. You can’t offend the Chinese. They’ll drive a tank over you if their feelings get too hurt. It’s a fine line between starting a pissing match that is just going to come back and hurt us and being too timid about what we desire in the region. But this seems like one of those times when a politely worded press release, coupled with a firm statement of principle + all due respects would be the right thing. ‘Dear China. You know you are our buddy. We love your stuff, and you love our money. Its a great relationship! But we also feel that Mr. Lama is a less than evil person who does not deserve to be demonized and persecuted. Just sleep on that, let us know what you think. Oh yeah! Also, Taiwa- er, the Republic of China is our buddy too, and we really think it would be neat if you could be nice to them too. Just throwing that out there, trying to think ‘outside the box.’ No lead in that box or anything, either!’ ‘Best wishes, Uncle George’

  4. How about recognizing Taiwan and signing a mutual defense pact? That would really get their panties in a bunch. They might even stop shipping poison toys here.